the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
