He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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