I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
