it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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