I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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