I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
