I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
