I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
