I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
