She's JV to your varsity
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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