just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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