So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
