guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He shit in the fireplace
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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