the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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