i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
