She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
