Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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