Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize