i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
