Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
why do cheetos always look like penises
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
