coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
