y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
