PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
