You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
