Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
