I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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