Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
