Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
