Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
