I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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