Barsexuality is the new black.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
