she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
