At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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