I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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