i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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