thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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