I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
