This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
