So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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