omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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