last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
