nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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