you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
