would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
