I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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