She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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