The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
