I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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