Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
