:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
