this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
