How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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