The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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