I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
