One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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