I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
