Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
