I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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