Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
