I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
