Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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